When Life As You Know It Ends, What Do You Do?
I generally don’t make personal posts about my life, but I feel it is necessary this time. I feel bad that I haven’t been posting at all lately and I thought I could share the reason why to how ever many followers I have left.
My family and I have been going through an ordeal. On the 29th of December, two days before his birthday, my dad suffered a carotid artery dissection. Basically, that means the inner lining of one of his arteries tore. His tear went from the c6 vertebrae (basically the base of the neck) up into his skull. The torn inner lining rolled up like a rug and blocked blood flow. This cannot be fixed. The outer lining then bulged out and pushed on a lot of the nerves leading up his face into his head. This caused his eye to droop ( a rare condition that does not always accompany dissection called Horner’s). Because his eye drooped and his pupil was not responding, my mom took him to the emergency room where he found out he narrowly missed a stroke. He was there for a week before he got to come home. Now, almost 7 weeks out, he is still in incredible pain (which most people who have suffered similarly say won’t go away). He also has had to come to terms with his mortality. He is 47 years old. Most people who have a carotid artery dissection have multiple strokes and another dissection in a different artery. I hope that he is the exception.
Let me tell you a little something about my dad:
He is extremely stubborn and extremely physical. His trade is carpentry and he is very good at his job. His whole life he’s been a physical person and his job requires him to lift weights that even the younger guys can’t (which he prides himself on). He was the bread winner of the household (which he was also proud of, providing for his family). Now, he is no longer to lift anything over 8 pounds or bend over or reach high. Those actions could tear his artery more or cause a stroke. But, he also gets tired and in pain when he does those things. The other day an older gentleman had to help my mom get something to the car from a food pantry while he stood helpless. He is also not allowed to stress. Which is already an impossible thing to do on top of being scared you’ll die or become brain dead. But, wait, there’s more…
All of a sudden he can’t work and will have to be on disability. We have no money coming in and we were already behind in several payments. We are worrying about money for food, medicine, medical appointments and bills, and, now, we are getting kicked out of our house because the rent is just too high. We are fighting to take care of my dad, to keep each other sane, to stay alive, and to stay together. I really would like to be able to help more, but I cannot do enough to get us out of this whole. None of us can. Not yet. We need time to get back on our feet. But, we don’t have time.
My parents have always been the ones to take others into our home or give a helping hand when they could. They have always provided for me and my brother and gave us the best they could. The greatest thing they have given us was their love, understanding, and respect, as well as taught us from their experience. They have always been the type of people to sacrifice themselves to give to others and I love that I have grown to be like them. And as I watch them struggle because they cannot give us better circumstances and because they cannot provide enough, I wish I could do more. One of the hardest parts of this whole thing is to watch them hurt. If I had to move out and be on my own just so THEY could get help, of course I would hate being away from them, but I would do it in an instant. I want them to stop stressing. I honestly worry that it will kill them. And on top of that, they have always tried to help my dreams come true, yet they have never really had theirs come true. I want so badly to be able to give them that. I would settle, however, on just giving them a place to stay with minimal stress and enough money for medications, but I can’t. Not on my own.
This is where you come in. I hate asking for help. I would much rather be giving to others, but part of giving to others is excepting graciously and paying it forward when you have the chance to again. Plus, it is a necessity right now. You do not have to do anything, but I will ask anyway. If you could please spare anything, please donate to help us out. And if you can’t, please just share the donation site on any social media networking site you have. We are not asking for luxuries, we are asking for enough to just get by.
In other news, I will try to post more on this blog as it is something I love to do and seems to be a nice place for others to share their opinions.
Posted on February 15, 2014, in Random and tagged artery, blog, books, carotid, die, dissection, donate, ends, family, fund, help, homeless, life, love, mortality, pay it forward, please, review, reviews, stroke, tragedy, tragic, update. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.